Finally Cutting Corners?
Not Really but maybe.
I had been recounting my journey so far in my head the whole day today and its like I can sew together every moment , every important decision into this wonderfully weird puzzle. The puzzle is still somewhere in the middle but I have a feeling that maybe soon I will be saying ,”Looks like I am finally cutting corners”. Maybe once I say that then the real struggle will begin and believe me I am all pumped up for that.
From the beginning I knew that I do not want to live a mediocre life where I might start earning decent money from a daily job but my life overall would look boring, my relationships miss the zeal, my kids feel bored, the conversations I have with people don’t have amusement and excitement and I spend my free hours watching TV. But growing up I never saw someone living that perfect life except for reading about those in books. Now that I think of my journey with this passionate dream of an amazing life, I cant help but think of the exact moment when the seed was sowed. Maybe I had the exact opposite life of what I wanted and that pushed my dreams towards something I didn’t have but my heart wanted that. Or maybe this is what happened:
As a kid I got this huge catalog of images in my mind and I carefully selected the ones I loved and made that my future existence and since then its like an inner voice driving me through tough and bad times, teaching me lessons I had to learn, preparing me for the tough times ahead and hence here I am. I didn’t give up when everyone around me was teaching me to take a deep breath and settle down, I kept fighting when I could not even see a future but knew that what I have today can not be my future so something inside me pushed me ahead and the same voice never faded away when I heard that my dreams are filmy or that I do not have experience or that I do not know any better. I just knew and still know that whatever I need to learn and acquire I will find on my way.
So all I want to say today is that we can not give up on ourselves. No matter what. Period.