I can not hate!

Some people fall in love and go overboard with their feelings for the person they love and yet there are also people who go crazy mad with hate towards same people they used to once love. It happens with everyone, I think. In my opinion, hate can not coexist with love yet it only happens at a place where once love was a knight.

It happened with me too that I fell in love with someone and then once it became bitter I started hating that person more than my nature could allow me to hate. I continued with this sad emotion for a while only to feel hatred towards myself rather than towards the other person whom I was supposed to hate. Confused?

Let me explain.

What happens when we truly love someone?

Our life becomes sweeter. We start to experience this utmost inner glow in us.

Ever wondered why? Why do the changes happen in us and not in the person we love? Its because we change and evolve in the process of love. We become more accepting of our failures, setbacks and insecurities because we know we are loved. We start giving and once we give, we almost expand our hearts and the desire to give more which in return brings us this joy from within.

What happens when we hate someone?

First we start to count their almost every annoying habit in our heads. In case we meet them often then everything about them makes us hate ourselves more as we curse and abuse ourselves to have loved this kind of person in the first place. All of a sudden the inner glow remolds into this red lava of anger which can almost burn that person alive if we look at them deeply in rage. So in short, hate spoils us more than it does any thing else.

What should we do then or what do I do?

I have a simple funda in life and you can adapt that as yours too. I wont mind as certainly I do not hold a patent of this. But here it is-

I do not hate anyone. When I was doing that I realized that maximum part of my brain capacity was being used in remorse rather than using that to achieve something better in life. When we hate someone else we always ends up hating a part of our own self. So I Stopped It.

Instead now I have only two major emotions and both of them are very strong: Love or Indifference.

I love people with true heart and I continue to do that till eternity with all poise and acceptance but if situation arrives where I am forced to dislike the person and more so hate the person then I turn my Love switch to the other side. The person then does not exist for me. That person does not matter to me.

I am very stubborn that way and I guess I am okay with that. I can almost never turn the switch again.

Let me say here that I am not writing this for you to choose between love and hate but I am writing this to chose between hate and indifference or say hate and love yourself.

You are indifferent towards someone when you give a damn about that person and you feel nothing.Almost nothing. So be it as that could never have been true love. It was deceitful from the beginning. It was characterless and unfathomable. Let it go. Period.

Now I also want to write about why not letting go of true love that easily.  If you are someone who keeps falling in and out of love then you ought to hear my points-

  • When you love someone truly then you have to give them many-many chances before you come to a stage where you can not tolerate anything anymore.
  • Love is compassion and there is no compassion without sacrifice. Don’t be so shallow to not love someone because its too much of compromise from your end. Its worth it as you love that person.
  • Love can never be your everything yet it is everything. Know the difference and find the uniqueness.

I love this quote from a movie and I had to mention it here. This is what love is according to me so be careful if you wish for a true love as that surely comes from a deep and everlasting compassion.

“Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful or conceited. It is never rude or selfish. It does not take offense and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people’s sins, but delights in the truth. It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes.”

                 That is about love.                                                                                                                            Love everyone and mostly yourself.                                                                                 Not in a narcissist way but in a nicest way.                                                                              Know when to shut the door and breath the fresh air.

What is your opinion on hate and should we do it or not? 

5 Responses

  1. Written beautifully again. Love and hate- so simple yet so complicated. If we follow indifference the life will probably be much easier for all. Love your work again.

  2. Awesomely written! I could feel every emotion you have sketched here.. Intense yet simple. Such a beautiful way to put your thoughts across!! Loved it!

  3. Dear Sheetal

    Please accept my sincere apologies for responding late to your blog. I see it happening with a lot of people around, and I have this one question in my mind “Was it love or something else ?”. We have heard and seen a lot of definitions about love and yet we seldom understand the true meaning of it as a relationship which defines our existence in this world as a soul, as a human being to live and make our environment beautiful and wonderful not only for ourselves but for the people too.

    The difference between the words “COMPLIMENT” & “SUPPLEMENT” defines everything be it love or any other relationship that we wish to form or have in our lives. The second aspect of creating a relationship is whether it is made because of one’s need or ego or from the fear of being left alone. I know you may find it blunt and rude, but mostly relationships are not made for the purpose of walking together but for the purpose of the benefit one can get from the other. Once the benefit / need is over so does the warranty period of a relationship.

    thank you for sharing your thoughts with me.
    Karan Chowdhary

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